"Friends"

Ok. Looks like shit didn't hit the fan. According to the Hubs, earlier today he confirmed our faux-Thanksgiving with his parents and sister on Sunday, November 22. This is brilliant. We don't have to fight traffic on the busiest travel weekend of the year, and I can go about my business as planned.

The Hubs also pitched the idea that we go up on the Saturday night, spend the night at his parents other residence (yes, they have a home they live in, and a home that sits there and costs them money. Not because they are rich, but because they inherited property, and are certifiably stupid - more about this some other day). He also suggested that we go visit some "friends" (a married couple with an 11-month old) on Saturday night while we are there. (If you know anything, you know where this post is going...)

I don't want to.

Let me tell you about these "friends". They are good people. Really good people, I guess. I am just OVER them. They both have been friends with the Hubs since high school, which is fine. She sang in our wedding and he was one of the groomsmen for the Hubs, and Hubs was a groomsman at their wedding two years ago. We were all on a trip together when the two of them got engaged. We shared hotel rooms at weddings and on trips and the like. I thought we were pretty close to these people.

Anyway, in my normal (non-bitchy) fashion, I used to email and call Mrs. "Friend". I thought we were friends, and chatted about this and that, offered to help with anything when it came to planning her wedding, etc. We would go visit them a few times a year, plan trips together, you know.

THEN I STOPPED BEING A DUMB ASS.

It finally hit me one day. THIS IS A ONE-SIDED FRIENDSHIP. I did all the calling and emailing and general reaching out. Hubs and I always traveled to visit them. Only ONCE in the entire six years the Hubs and I have been together have they come to see us. They were scheduled to several times, but canceled last minute each time. Since I have come to this realization, I don't want to put myself out anymore. Call me a bitch, call me whatever. Why am I spending all this emotional energy trying to maintain friendships with people when I HAVE TO DO ALL THE DAMN WORK?

I am sure this isn't affecting the boys as much. They were always sporadic about calling each other, making plans, etc. They talk occasionally, and I am positive there is no rift there.

There's no rift between me and Mrs. "Friend". I just stopped calling and emailing her an attempt to stop feeling taken advantage of and feeling under appreciated (note, I haven't received any calls or emails from her since I stopped). I just decided I would rather invest my energy into the people who I KNOW are my friends. Besides, they are fabulous people who I would spend all my time with if I could.

Now, look...they are still VERY NICE PEOPLE. I am 100% positive I will have to see them at some point (and meet their baby. Yup - 11 months, and I haven't seen the kid.) I am also 100% that they are clueless. They probably just didn't realize all this. Which is fine. Whatever. I am just already getting resentful about having to sit there and make stupid chit-chat about whatever, when I have mentally checked out of this relationship.

Side notes: Making idle chit-chat with them is hard. Mr. and Mrs. "Friend" come from families with serious money. He works a crappy job with the local utility, and she doesn't do anything. I don't think she ever has. We have been unable to plan events with them and such because we work, and they are off not working and siphoning money from Mrs. "Friend"'s parents. That's awesome for them to not have to worry about money. They live in a luxury condo (paid for my Mrs. "Friend"'s parents), and it's hard to talk about stuff - like work. Since it's such a foreign concept. And, now, add the baby! Last time we visited was about 4 months before the baby was due, and all I heard is baby baby baby! I am sure you can imagine that didn't go over too well.

So, to recap. They are VERY NICE PEOPLE. Clueless and especially absentminded when it comes to maintaining friendships with people, but still very nice people.

And I still don't want to go visit them.