Still There?

I am over this space.

So, that happened...

That is all, thank you. :)

Things My Husband Says: Olympic Edition

Sorry I haven't been around like I promised. The Olympics happened, and I've been glued to the tv and all forms of social media trying to keep up.

Scene: watching women's gymnastics this evening. There is a Russian gymnast on the beam.

The Hubs: Are we watching the Russians?

KP: Yes.

The Hubs: Did you see that? She fell off the mat.

KP: Yes.

The Hubs: Man. Those Russians must have been out drinking last night. (Yelling at the tv) Lay off the vodka, Russians!

Ughhhh

You know it's a Monday when your hair dryer breaks and you forget to wear deodorant. Also, when one of your staff gets in a car accident on the way to work (she is okay), and you find out another is quitting (not as a result of the aforementioned lack of deodorant). You're still hungover from your weekend with Shannon (good news: I no longer want to die, but I am pretty sure I could sleep the first half of this week away). And you know your house is a disaster and you have nothing planned for dinner, and you don't really give a crap. Because I don't.

But, it was a super fab weekend hanging out with Shannon, getting the chance to have a nice long chat with Bethany (also, I want to kiss whoever invented FaceTime). And, an awesome shout out to The Hubs, for putting up with me, and keeping N happy and fed.

More later, but in the meantime, go look at my Instagram photos on the Twitters, and I am going to try to struggle through the day. Ugh.

Thursday Brain Dump

Helllllloooo, Thursday.  Now that you're here, can you please hurry up and end, because I am over this weekday-work thing. Ok. Thanks. 

Now for some of the things that have been occupying the space between my ears lately:

Kate Spade: I love you. I love your designs with everything in my heart. But your mesh pumps? I can't get behind this. In theory, totes cute. But I don't understand a mesh pump or sling back. If you want breath-ability in your feet, why not just wear sandals? Or a cute wedge or espadrille? Peep toes? Not mesh. Gross.  File also under: It is no longer the 80's.

I need some help. My child does not sleep. Or care for any kind of discipline. I have spent one too many nights with a toddler bouncing off the walls at MIDNIGHT. Like a GREMLIN. And I feel like We have tried everything. No sugar, no chocolate. One nap a day, no nap time after noon, everything. Looks like Little Miss doesn't care for sleep at a reasonable hour (bed time is between 7 and 8, then it's hours of struggling and putting her back in the crib). She also doesn't care for being disciplined when hitting, throwing something, climbing somewhere dangerous or being a general pill.  She is typically pretty decently behaved. But when she doesn't, she throws tantrums, and I am not sure how to handle that situation. Plus, I think I am tired and inadequately prepared with how to deal with that.

I want a new haircut. But I dont' actually WANT to have my hair cut. Advice on how to handle that one? Also, I am a lazy horrible hair styler person. So look, it's in a ponytail. Shocker.

I am in a food rut. My preferred dining options lately have included sliced fruit and cereal. Every meal is breakfast. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Oh, and hard boiled eggs. I can't get enough of them. But who has time to cook them, then wait for them to cool? Not this girl.

Also, I am not pregnant. Cravings for cereal and eggs are completely random.

The Hubs called MIL to see how she was doing with her back injury. She blamed him for the whole thing. As in "if I weren't rushing to see you, this never would have happened."  First of all, if she were coming to spend the day with us, wouldn't you imagine she would take her bath before noon? Secondly, I no longer feel bad for her or her injury after she said that to my husband. What a selfish nitwit. He deserves a much better family. Like mine.

Speaking of mine, someone on all of my family's mind today:  Uncle George. Funniest. Man. You. Ever. Met. Hilarious.  Miss you!

Anything on your mind you want to brain dump today?

What Up, Blog Peeps?

OMG OMG OMG OMG...

Go look what Shannon and Kate are stirring up! It's another Always Bloggy Meetup!  But this time in Boston. Wicked awesome.  I am so excited about this, ya'll. I really hope I was the first one to respond to your email request for interest. Do I win a prize if I am? I better...

Anyway, what is more fun than some freaking awesome blog-turned-real-friends hanging out together in a city as super fun as Boston?

ONE OF THOSE BLOGGY FRIENDS COMING TO VISIT ME THIS WEEKEND, THAT'S WHAT.

(Sorry, caps problem)

For reals. Shannon is coming to hang out with me in my hood, yo. Aside from drunken hijinks, what can I take her to do in the RVA area? Anyone got any ideas for me? All my activities of late have been geared towards pleasing people who are three feet or shorter, and I don't think Shannon falls in that category. So if you can think of something for me to show her, or if you are out of town and there is something in RIC that you are just DYING TO SEE (why don't you come visit me?!?!) Holla at a girl.

Best Day Ever

I was going to blog about how my in-laws visited today. But by some miracle of miracles, they called and cancelled. MIL threw out her back, and we got the call around 1 pm that they wouldn't be gracing us with their presence. Or presents. Which we were fine with.

The Hubs and I were able to spend lots of quality time together as a family, and I even got some household things done. Like a portrait wall. I am nothing if not keeping up with current home decorating trends. Even if I am ages late to that party.

Even more exciting is the prospect of beers and a movie with The Hubs tonight, pending on toddler bedtime and no more toy injuries (me, not Her).

Hope everyone had a fabulous weekend!!

For All You Loyals

So, last Sunday, I had to visit Crazytown. And I know this is the update you have been looking for. And I always give the people what they want. So here's my weekend recap, as emailed to a friend.

Ugh. THey were horrible. We waited for an hour for MIL and SIL to arrive, when they finally did, they were comparing N to their parrot (because she really understands things now). OMG. These assholes have the mental capacity of a parrot.

Now that I am spending more time on the floor with N, I am seeing for the first time how so very disgusting the whole place is. It's awful. SO. Gross.

The spent a great deal of time not actually conversing with us, which was awesome, because, you know we were there to visit with them and all. We planned to leave at 4:30 and actually got out of there at 6, which is better than usual.

Andy made crab cakes and shrimp, both of which were cooked awfully - crab cakes tasted like he dropped the salt shaker in them, and the shrimp was cooked beyond rubbery recognition. Ew, ew ew ew. Also, something is F-ed up with FIL's teeth, he only has like three left on the bottom part of his mouth. I think that might have been enough to make The Hubs veer away from the smoking. Seriously disgusting.

Then they continued to insult us the usual way, MIL yelling at The Hubs telling him he knows nothing about real estate (he is a Realtor by profession), which is just upsetting, because he works so hard, and just wants their approval (and their acknowledgement that he is an adult). They didn't ask about us, or our jobs or anything really, and went on and on about how tragic their lives were because they were without power for so long. SIL talked to me the whole time about how she was an outcast in kindergarten and how N should have frriends so she doesn't suffer the same fate (except, N has the bonus of already not being a fucking weirdo). The Hubs dad didn't say three words to me. He is a condescending prick, so mostly I stayed out of his way and didn't say anything to him. Plus, The Hubs mentioned that he thinks his dad is so embarrassed by MIL and SIL he just spends time away from them at all possible, so while The Hubs was off seeking his fathers approval (futile), I was stuck with Dumb and Dumber and their stupid ass comments. Except for the several instances where they just kind of left N and I playing, and no one was visiting with us. Stupid.



I showed you the picture with the world's oldest soda. WHich was gross, by the way. But seriously - you have a 2 year old coming to visit you. Buy some juice. Buy something. For real. Why wouldn't you be a little prepared? Also, they don't let Naomi touch ANYTHING in that disgusting hell hole. SIL and MIL kept telling her not to do this, don't touch that, and trying to sway her with old disgusting and broken toys from The Hubs' (obviously superb) childhood. SHe's a kid! Of course she doesn't want that shit. She wants to play with everything else. If you know a 2 year old is coming over, prepare a little. Move some of the breakable shit out of the way. For real. These people. I swear.

Other bad news: The Hubs invited his parents over here this weekend, since it is looking like there is no other time this summer we will be able to see them. Twice in one week. I hate my life.