Vacationing in Crazytown

My MIL is trying to organize a beach vacation.  She's trying to create the image of a happy, normal family that includes her and FIL, SIL, OtherSister (and family), and of course, us.  Based on the planning of this trip alone, I predict that it is going to be pure misery.  And that's IF I decide we are going.  And right now, I am say no.  And here's why.

MIL is a huge wanna-be, and has been hell bent on planning a vacation to get OtherSister and her family here from Bumblef*ck.  The fact tht we have a new baby seems to be the perfect enticement for OtherSister.  MIL spent days and days finding the perfect weekend in the summer.  After much strife, she finally figured out a weekend.  Now, because most beach house rentals do NOT rent over a weekend, but rather from Saturday-to-Saturday, MIL has decided to rent a beach house for TWO weeks in a row (knowing full well that she won't be using the property for the whole two weeks!) to guarantee the weekend rental period, rather than just stay in a hotel.  Why not ask OtherSIster if she can tweak her travel plans a little?  Because MIL is crazy, and is desparate to get OtherSister in town, and OtherSister is equally as rigid and selfish as MIL.  Ok.  So, now, MIL is renting this house for two weeks - if she has money to THROW away, I know someone who could use it...

Now, about the house she has rented.  Well, it's not a house.  It's a condo.  It's a two bedroom condo.  MIL insists that the condo will sleep 8 people.  Which is fine, but we are a total of 9 people (me, the Hubs, MIL, FIL, SIL, OtherSister, her husband and two kids), and a baby. Also, this two bedroom condo has a somewhat unconventional set up - two queen beds in one bedroom and one masterbedroom with a king bed.  So, yes, you read that correctly.  Two queen beds in one bedroom.  Meaning that two people will have to share a room.  Ew.  When MIL pitched this idea to me, I reminded her that I planned on still breastfeeding, plus, Naomi will still be a baby, and being in a strange place, might wake up in the middle of the night, cry, etc.  All this to hint at the fact that this two-bedroom condo would not be enough room for three families. 

Well, she didn't get the hint, and the Hubs had to lay it on her in a much less discrete fashion.  MIL offered us the master bedroom, but since FIL is a crotchety old bastard, the Hubs declined that offer. There are some deep issues here, for whatever reason, FIL thinks the Hubs is a spoiled brat (for the record, he is absolutely NOT), and the Hubs would rather not have his dad be a miserable jerk during vacation because he has to share a room with OtherSister and her husband (besides, that's weird as hell).  The Hubs offered to find another place to stay.  Which wouldn't be a problem, but MIL had a laundry list of ridiculous requests - she wants an oceanfront condo, preferably ON the boardwalk, that allows pets, can be rented for two consecutive weeks on the dates we have already selected, AND has to fall under $3,000.  Oh, and has to have three bedrooms so we're not sharing.  Basically, the beach house/condo with all these things DOES NOT EXIST. 

Oh, and yea.  This place has to be oceanfront.  That was OtherSister's request. Why, you ask?  Because OtherSister has to keep an eye on her kids.  Oh, how old are they?  19 and 15.  A boy and girl, respectively.  Supposedly, she can't leave them alone with eachother.  Awesome.  Just the type of people I want my kid around.

When the Hubs told MIL this, she suggested we find somewhere else to stay, and she would pay for it.  So, after having done all the research, and also being fiscally responsible and not wanting to rent another beach house for more time than we would actually be spending there, we looked into booking a room at the Holiday Inn Express. We're not fancy people, we just needed a place to stay for a couple of nights.  Well.  MIL said this would be too expensive.  Ok, we told her we would look again later, because, seriously, this is beginning to get out of hand.  Then she wants to know if this place has a pool.  She proceeds to tell us the place we stay HAS to have a pool, because if she, SIL, OtherSister, and OtherSister's kids get sick of the ocean, they can come use the pool, and hang out in our hotel room.  Doesn't this kind of defeat the purpose of having our own space?

And here's the kicker.  If MIL didn't have to have the stupid dog with her, a lot more rentals would be available.  No one allows dogs.  This makes MIL irate. Which is ridiculous.  It is well within the owner's rights to NOT allow dogs in their rental condos. That's that.  The end.  When the Hubs asked if she could leave the dog with the pet sitter, she said, no, the dog is her "baby", and when left with a pet sitter, her "baby" doesn't eat (I call bullshit, a dog will eat when it is hungry, bottom line).  She couldn't fathom going on vacation and not having the dog eat for five days.  THEN she asked the Hubs if he would go that long without feeding his baby.  WHO IS AN ACTUAL BABY. Oy.

The last thing MIL said to the Hubs before she got off the phone was that since she's paying for our place to stay, we'll stay where SHE wants us to, et cetera, et cetera.  I told the Hubs that if she's going to hold that over our heads, then we don't have to go.  I don't want to go on vacation with someone who is going to rub it in my face that SHE paid for it the whole time. 

So, that's the BS we're dealing with right now.  I think I might be sick that week.  In July.