Prize Fail

First of all, I am losing my shit, because this stupid computer has eaten this post no fewer than THREE TIMES.  So, like a jackass, I will try again to type it all out. 

Last week was The Hubs' birthday, as I mentioned several times before.  He didn't make any firm plans or want anything specific, and I think that was because he was having somewhat of a mid-life crisis.  I am married to a man who is now actually 35, but is also 100% convinced he is 23.  Seriously.  And I don't mean that in a bad way at all.

So, I get a call while I am at work that he is going to take the afternoon playing it easy, and then hit Happy Hour at the Shithole Bar down the block.  Which was fine by me.  He went off and did his thing, so I did what any self-respecting wife would do in the situation.  I treated myself to a pedicure.

While I was out getting my toes did, I get a text from the Hubs, declaring his boredom, and his wish for a change of scenery.

OK, I took the bait.  What is it that he wanted to do instead?  As I was waiting for his reply text, I was somewhat holding my breath.  This idea of his could be really brilliant, or not so much.

Because he is actually a thirteen year old boy, his brilliant idea was to head to D.ave and B.usters.  For those of you who are not graced with a D.ave and B.usters in your locale, do not be alarmed.  It's really just an arcade with a mediocre chain restaurant and bar (a la TGI F.ridays).  Patrons can purchase chicken fingers and a fishbowl margarita (which doesn't actually sound that bad right now), and buy "player cards" (because regular quarters are so old school) loaded with "credits" for game play.  Now, I am pretty sure you need an advanced degree in mathematics to understand how the credit system works at D&B.  Some games are worth 3.2 credits, and then there are the ones that are worth 1.2 credits, but you have to buy 3 of those 1.2 credits to actually play, and then there are also the games that I assume are more desirable, costing 10+ credits?!?  Whatever.  If you get to the bottom of that, let me know.

Oh, I almost forgot.  There are also a significant amount of games you can play that spit out tickets.  You can use your collection of tickets to go to the "store" and buy trinkets and crap.  That's right.  You can spend $1,000 on credits to play a game that gives you 500 tickets so you can go "buy" a stuffed animal that cost forty cents to produce in Thailand.  I love America.

Anyway.  We get some food, and get some credits on our player card.  And we did have a good time.  We are fairly competitive with each other, so an arcade wasn't an awful place to be.  Especially since it was a week night, and the place wasn't too busy.

I spent my portion of the credits playing Skee-Ball.  Since it is the best game known to mankind.  Skee-Ball is one of those games that spits out tickets.  I wasn't trying to amass a bazillion tickets or anything, but I am freaking awesome at Skee-Ball, so I did.

At the end of the night, we ended up with 250 tickets or so to use on awesome "prizes" at the store.  We ended up choosing a mini plush soccer ball, with the intention that we would give it to Thing1 and Thing2 to play with. 

We were home for about three and a half minutes when this happened:

Thing1 is fine.  The soccer ball, not so much.  It's exhausting tearing the shit out of a cheaply made toy, I tell you.