NIAW

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week, and I couldn't NOT mention it, of course.

I should have titled this post "NIAW (or, Why I Still Feel Like A Fraud)".

Infertility is a cause close to my heart.  And by no means do I feel that I have conquered this battle yet.  I don't understand how so many couples struggle with infertility and it still is so taboo to discuss.  It's upsetting, actually.

I know that one thing that helped me a lot was the internet - I found so much comfort and solace reading the stories of so many women, who, like me, had wrestled with the myriad of emotions that accompany this journey.  I found hope with the successful stories - families who became whole with their choices to pursue artificial methods or adoption.  I found inspiration with the stories of women who have kept persevering and and are still searching for their answer.  I don't know if I would have made it this far (and still consider myself a relatively sane person) if it wasn't for the support of so many strangers whose lives I chose to follow.

I think that my RESOLVE group was beyond helpful as well.  Even though I could sympathize and relate to so many people I followed on message boards and through blogging, it wasn't as tangible (for lack of a better word) until I met women face to face.  In addition, the RESOLVE website was an incredible resource for providing information to distribute to some overly involved and outspoken family members.

I still feel like a little bit of a fraud - I am pregnant now, which is interesting after having identified with being infertile for such a long time.  I am still petrified of all the things that can potentially go wrong, but I try not to think of them.  I know that being pregnant won't necessarily "cure" my infertility, but I am somewhat appreciative of the struggle I have been through.  When someone makes a negative comment about having children, or not having children, I have the opportunity to educate. 

This post isn't as well thought out and organized as I would like it to be.  I just want to make people aware of infertility, and the fact that it is probably affecting someone you know.  Probably several people you know.  So, please don't offer advice like "just relax" - and some people don't want to talk about it.  Consider what you are about to say to people, and think about how your comments might be construed.  Offer your friends and loved ones support with which ever family building option they decide to pursue.  Talk to them if they want to talk.  And most importantly, do not judge their choices.  There are so many people I am still following and praying for - some don't even know me. 

I don't have anything wise or insightful to end on here, but I think it was important to post this.