We Told The In-Laws

Yes.  You read that correctly.  The Hubs and I shared our news with the in-laws. 

And I regret it.

Like, really, REALLY REGRET IT.

The week after we told my parents, who, by the way, are incredibly normal and loving and practical and supportive, the Hubs was feeling a little guilty that we hadn't shared the news with his family. 

Damn you, Guilt.

So, randomly, one evening, on the way home from some arbitrary trip somewhere, we called up to break the news.

When the Hubs calls his parents on behalf of both of us, I often request that he put them on speaker phone so that I can hear and say hello or randomly agree with some comment so that I don't actually have to take the phone and talk.

And now we're on speaker phone with his mother and sister.  And the Hubs lets the bomb drop, because he's oh so subtle.  It came out something along the lines of: "We have some exciting news(NOPAUSE)we're expecting". 

Which was fine.  The two of them (they also on speaker phone - clearly no one in this family actually wants to talk to eachother like normal human beings.  I don't blame them) are so excited, and SIL keeps saying "I don't know what to say," and "I'm speechless."  I wish MIL had the same problem. 

She didn't.  She kept going on and on and on.  I don't even remember what she was saying.  I just remember that it wasn't important, and it didn't really upset or offend me (which was a first!) but it was probably ridiculous, as usual. 

She then offered us the four (??) extra cribs she had at her house.  She said we would need them because it would be nice to have one in each room of the house, and as we move from room to room, we could just plop the kid down. 

I have some problems with this philosophy.  First of all, we don't need four cribs.  We need one.  Our house is a whopping 1500 square feet.  Any more than one crib would make the damn place look like a day care.  A very lonely daycare with one child, and a bajillion empty cribs.  Secondly, these cribs she has been stockpiling for this day are old.  Like, really old.  From when the Hubs and his sisters were babies.  And the Hubs is kind of old.  He'll be 35 this year.  This means these old cribs are approaching 40  years old.  40. YEARS. OLD.  Now, you're probably thinking, gee KP, don't kick a gift horse in the mouth, accept the lovely generosity of your dear Mother In Law.  Now I tell you this.  NO.  SHUT UP.  Let me also mention that MIL and FIL smoke.  In the house (like practically no one does anymore.)  And they have been smoking in this house (that is filled with the animals and probably loads of crap) for the last 40 years.  So this probably means that this old crib that is already made with lead-based paint (awesome for babies) is polluted even more with 40 years of second hand cigarette smoke.  I WILL PASS, THANK YOU.

After complaining to discussing with my own mother, I have decided that I will graciously accept, then trash her gifts, or, if they are in somewhat useable shape, donate to Good.will. 

We mentioned to MIL and SIL that we wouldn't be finding out the sex until the birth.  We have thought a lot about that, and we decided that it's what WE want to do.  Because that is our decision.  SIL, I quote, "doesn't understand" how we can do that because how will we know "what color to paint the baby's room"?  I figured some people would have a problem with that.  But, again, she was very weird about it. 

Now, we didn't talk to FIL during this call because it was already around 8 in the evening, and supposedly, he was in bed, already asleep.  I can't say I blame him, if I had to be in that house, I would sleep as much as humanly possible as well.  Anyway, MIL and SIL go on and on about how they can't wait to go wake up FIL and tell him.  As they are saying this, I look over to the Hubs, who looks crushed.  I knew he wanted to be the one to tell his father about his first child.  It's time to step up.  I had to grab the phone and scream to get their attention, but I mention to MIL and SIL that if they could kindly keep their big mouths shut, the Hubs would like to tell FIL.  They questioned it, but eventually went with it.  Some people just don't get it.

The next morning, we agreed we would call sometime in the morning and tell FIL.  Well, at 9 am, it was time to tell, appearantly.  MIL called several times (read, 3 separate times) until Hubs picked up.  She then shoved the phone at FIL, who was now pissed he had to be on the phone.  Hubs shared, and FIL was actually the first to say "congratulations".  So that was nice.  He seemed to be excited in his weird, obnoxious way.  My parents were obviously much more excited and put off a loving vibe.  His parents were excited, but not as excited as my parents (his parents have been grandparents for about 16 years already), and in my opinion, generally weird about the whole thing.

I know, you might think I am being petty.  Please ask anyone who has had the privllege of meeting my in-laws.   There is something indescribable there.  You just can't put it into words.  Listen when I am telling you they are weird.

Yesterday, after our NT scan, I texted the Hubs the ultrasound picture from the previous post.  He then forwarded it to his dad.  Who called later, complaining that the Hubs sent him something on the phone, and he couldn't figure it out.  Ok, ok, calm down, I emailed him the picture again, directly from my Blac.kberry to his email account.  While we're on the phone, we mention that we had the NT scan done, and explain that it's to establish our risk for Downs Syndrome.  FIL, who of course is always sensitive, kind and understanding (HA) barks out, "What the hell, you don't even need to mess with that nonsense".  I have an idea, how about you be a little bit sensitive, and if we want a test done, we will have a test done.  Besides, he must be completely unaware of the risk of Downs that runs in my family.  But, hey, that's just splitting hairs.  Idiot.  A little while later, FIL calls Hubs again, saying that he got an email, but it had an attachment, and he wanted to know if the attachment contained a virus.  FYI, the attachment was the picture he just requested we sent to his email account.  Upon opening the virus-free attachment, he asked how in the hell he was supposed to see the baby.  Now, if you go back to this post, I don't think it is that hard to decipher?  Maybe I am just biased.  I don't know.  I am just releived that computer knowledge/use is limited in that  household...otherwise this blog is in trouble!

In hindsight:  If you feel about your in-laws the way I feel about mine, I would encourage waiting until after the baby is born (in my case, October), to tell them about any new family members.