In a Funk

So, I guess I have officially fell into the role of "Worst Blogger Ever". I know it has been practically two weeks since my last post, and at best, a little spotty before that. I vow to get better about that. Really, I promise.

I have been in quite a funk lately. It's hard to describe. I haven't felt like doing much at all. For example, I usually love running, and get a lot of joy from that activity, as well as a great emotional release. These past two weeks, I haven't laced up a pair of running shoes, and I am well aware of how that has affected me (talk about a pent up ball of frustration and raw nerves!). I know I have withdrawn from my family. That troubles me a bit (and I am sure that could have everything to do with the embarrassment of my Beach Week breakdown), but at the same time, I don't think they even really notice (also a little upsetting). I (obviously) haven't been blogging (which is a shame, I have seen a lot of funny shit lately that is worthy of sharing). I have been losing interest in work, and all of a sudden, deadlines are looming (I swear, they are deadlines that were NOT there the day before). And of course, on the Operation Procreation front, there are the feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness that are completely overwhelming and emotionally and physically draining (I find that is the way with a lot of things when you have no control whatsoever).

I know it might seem counter productive, but I have been trying to fill my schedule with things to do and keep me busy, so I won't lay around on the couch. Because I will. For days at a time. So, as I have mentioned previously, I am on the High School Reunion committee, I recently emailed about becoming actively involved in my sorority's alumni chapter here, and I have been keeping my weekends filled with fun activities with my friends (yay, for a wonderful Labor Day "camping" adventure!). When I am not at home, I seem to be having a great time (although, I have probably been drinking too much, which is always entertaining).

I did go to acupuncture this morning, which was a nice break. My acupuncturist had suggested I cut sugar out of my diet because of it's inflammatory nature. So I did. I haven't been struggling with that as much as I thought. You would think that cutting out sugar would help the overall situation, with the elimination of sugar highs and lows. But it doesn't.

I then reminded my acupuncturist about some of the hormones I am taking, and it was like a light bulb. A true A-HA moment. I have been pumping my body full of hormones for the past two weeks in preparation for another cycle. I am obviously very sensitive to this. VERY SENSITIVE. I am not trying to whine. But, the fact that I now know it's not completely MY fault for the lack of motivation as of late has had a fairly huge impact on me today. She also glued little gold beads to some pressure points, so when I am feeling anxious, I can squeeze on these points, and hopefully, this will have an impact.

So, I want to tell you that this is my effort to come back. I am going to put forth a whole hearted effort to take some control in my life. Although I am entitled to feel sorry for myself, I am really going to try to get through the next couple of weeks without doing that. I am going to blog more (yay), be a normal person, and maybe, just maybe, get off the couch for a little while. I am going to continue to remain active in the groups I have joined and such, but I really want to make an effort on my part. I promise to be more fun too - this whiny me-me-me nonsense has to stop, and I have to keep telling hilarious stories about my mother-in-law and other types of general idiots I run into!