For All You Loyals

So, last Sunday, I had to visit Crazytown. And I know this is the update you have been looking for. And I always give the people what they want. So here's my weekend recap, as emailed to a friend.

Ugh. THey were horrible. We waited for an hour for MIL and SIL to arrive, when they finally did, they were comparing N to their parrot (because she really understands things now). OMG. These assholes have the mental capacity of a parrot.

Now that I am spending more time on the floor with N, I am seeing for the first time how so very disgusting the whole place is. It's awful. SO. Gross.

The spent a great deal of time not actually conversing with us, which was awesome, because, you know we were there to visit with them and all. We planned to leave at 4:30 and actually got out of there at 6, which is better than usual.

Andy made crab cakes and shrimp, both of which were cooked awfully - crab cakes tasted like he dropped the salt shaker in them, and the shrimp was cooked beyond rubbery recognition. Ew, ew ew ew. Also, something is F-ed up with FIL's teeth, he only has like three left on the bottom part of his mouth. I think that might have been enough to make The Hubs veer away from the smoking. Seriously disgusting.

Then they continued to insult us the usual way, MIL yelling at The Hubs telling him he knows nothing about real estate (he is a Realtor by profession), which is just upsetting, because he works so hard, and just wants their approval (and their acknowledgement that he is an adult). They didn't ask about us, or our jobs or anything really, and went on and on about how tragic their lives were because they were without power for so long. SIL talked to me the whole time about how she was an outcast in kindergarten and how N should have frriends so she doesn't suffer the same fate (except, N has the bonus of already not being a fucking weirdo). The Hubs dad didn't say three words to me. He is a condescending prick, so mostly I stayed out of his way and didn't say anything to him. Plus, The Hubs mentioned that he thinks his dad is so embarrassed by MIL and SIL he just spends time away from them at all possible, so while The Hubs was off seeking his fathers approval (futile), I was stuck with Dumb and Dumber and their stupid ass comments. Except for the several instances where they just kind of left N and I playing, and no one was visiting with us. Stupid.



I showed you the picture with the world's oldest soda. WHich was gross, by the way. But seriously - you have a 2 year old coming to visit you. Buy some juice. Buy something. For real. Why wouldn't you be a little prepared? Also, they don't let Naomi touch ANYTHING in that disgusting hell hole. SIL and MIL kept telling her not to do this, don't touch that, and trying to sway her with old disgusting and broken toys from The Hubs' (obviously superb) childhood. SHe's a kid! Of course she doesn't want that shit. She wants to play with everything else. If you know a 2 year old is coming over, prepare a little. Move some of the breakable shit out of the way. For real. These people. I swear.

Other bad news: The Hubs invited his parents over here this weekend, since it is looking like there is no other time this summer we will be able to see them. Twice in one week. I hate my life.