Well, Hello There

Sorry I have been a little MIA lately! Things have just been busy (we got a new sofa, but had to get rid of the old one, buy a new one, change the layout of the house so the sofa would actually fit), plus, there's regular life (normally, I would tell you about how I have been busy cleaning and doing laundry, but that's a lie, and mostly I am busy being lazy). I would also like to tell you how I will try to write more this weekend, but the Hubs and I are headed to B.altimore for some get-away fun, and I don't know if I will have time.

In order to appease you, I will tell a very funny story -

Let me tell you the back story. On Tuesday, the Hubs was feeling sick. Very vague, non-descript sick. Kind of a cold, kind of not. I personally think it’s mostly the fact that men can’t handle anything when they are sick. They can’t even handle being sick. Wimps. I offered cold medications, hot tea, etc. Hubs decided he was above drugs. Ugh. So he went to bed without taking anything. He fell asleep asap. I could not. Since he was stuffed up, he was snoring, big time. I laid there for about two hours, before I thought I would just go into the living room to escape the snoring. I get all snuggled up on the couch, all comfortable, and finally fall asleep. No more than two hours later, he comes and wakes me up, and he’s all pissed off since he thinks I am pissed at him (because I am on the couch – and I am not pissed, I am just exhausted, and trying to save what’s left of the night). So he wakes me up, and I tell him to go away, and he does, and I go back to sleep. Wednesday morning, I nudge him awake to tell him I am leaving, and he’s obviously still pissed at me, and then calls me at work to snap at me for forgetting to wear my wedding ring (I forgot because my morning routine was all off, obviously, after having slept on the sofa, honest mistake).

The following is a true story, cementing my belief in Karma.

So, after all the drama with me being woken up on Tuesday night….I get up this morning to let the dogs out. I notice that the counter is a mess with cold remedies, Pepto, Tums, and Milk of Magnesia. Weird. I take a shower, get out, and go wake up the Hubs.

Me: “Hey, babe, wake up, are you feeling any better?” (Because he had been feeling sick on Tuesday and all day yesterday)

Hubs: “grumble grumble grumble”

Me: “Hey, I noticed that the Milk of Magnesia was out with the cap off…did you take that last night?”

Hubs: “ Yea, I had some last night. I had real bad heartburn.”

Me: “You know, you take Mylanta or something for that, not Milk of Magnesia.”

Hubs: “Whatever.” LOOOOOOOOONG Pause. “Why?”

Me: “Milk of Magnesia is a laxative, not a heartburn remedy.”

Hubs: actual fart noise.

Hubs: “Uh oh. Are you done with the bathroom?”

Me: “Yea, go ahead.”

The Hubs then rushes by me into the bathroom. I finish getting ready, so I walk up to the door and let him know I am about to leave.

Me: “Hey, babe, I am gonna go now. You going to be okay?”

Hubs: (from behind bathroom door) “WHY DO WE HAVE THIS IN THE HOUSE?”

Me: (while snickering and all around laughing) “It’s important to be regular”

Hubs: “WHY WOULD ANY ONE WANT TO FEEL LIKE THIS?”

Me: snickering and laughing

Hubs: “IT SAYS ON THE LABLE – FOR HEARTBURN!!!! WHY DO WE OWN THIS? OH MAHHHH GAAAWWWD!”

Me: Grabbing bottle, “Actually, it says for safe, effective cramp free relief. One two tablespoon does is supposed to produce a bowel movement in ½ to 6 hours. Are you sure you only took two tablespoons?”

Hubs: “I might have taken six.”

Me: “SIX?????”

Hubs: “It was really bad heartburn.”

Me: “So, is this going to teach you to carefully read labels before you take medications?”

Hubs: “DO. NOT. LECTURE. ME. NOW.”

Me: (laughing, still) “Ok, I am off to work! Hope your day gets better from here!”

Hubs: combination of grumbles and swearing.